Monday, November 7, 2011

"You'll understand when you're grown" meets Time...

For some reason there is still a very lucid fall day within my childhood that is oddly yet clearly filed in my memory under the "Time" tab... Crisp cool air circulating through open screen window on the storm door, the smell of apples and fall leaves permeate the air... I am in the living room patiently awaiting the grand and exciting culmination of coming to pick me up, which still leaves me wondering why I was so excited?!? The teal blue-green lines on the VCR somehow keep time for the entire world while gracefully synchronize swimming on the display in various configurations. I sit on the piano bench, maybe on top of my hands... while counting the minutes. I was hyper aware of how long the minutes were lasting counting all 60 seconds silently in my thoughts as the house buzzed busily along in it's usual day time routine. Quite suddenly it dawns on me, that moments like this will not last forever. I, like in a dream, seem to be reading a cue card to myself that informs my subconscious that I only understand this long moment, defining time, as my childhood perception allows. Somehow this moment forces me to understand all of the times a grown up turned green with envy while snapping a retort along the lines of "I only wish I had nap time" or "Stop asking, we'll be there in only 10 minutes". Also the ever famous "One day you will wish you were bored!" The reason I think of this moment is when I yearn for more time, a hidden resource, one that I often overlook. One day I hope that I can spend my day creating instead of answering phones and typpity typing all day. Oh Time, how I miss thee. Let me count the ways...